Public Safe Spaces
I don’t think I am different than other parents. Most of what I do is trial and error. I just hope at the end of the day I make Maddie’s life better and don’t mess things up too badly. I also don’t think I’m that much different than other parents, I want to share my passions with Maddie. I want her to experience all of the joys of this world.
This has me thinking about access to activities. To be honest, I’ve never thought about this subject. Of course there are the everyday signs and symbols of accessibility. We see them with handicapped parking, and we see them with wheelchair ramps. Is this really accessibility for all, or is it just a band-aid that we slap on an issue and call it fair enough?
I do feel a little selfish. I’ve never even thought about this until Maddie came into this world. I never thought about this until it has affected me directly. I might be late to the game, but I’m here to be an advocate nonetheless. I’d like to highlight a few experiences we’ve had of late.
My biggest passion is soccer. I love to play the game and I love to watch the game. We’ve started a tradition where we visit one professional soccer stadium a year here in the United States. Our family travels to see my favorite MLS team, the New York Red Bulls. We have visited two so far in Columbus and Cincinnati. The experience has been vastly different for Maddie.
Maddie’s first professional soccer experience occurred in Columbus, Ohio. Our seats were right by the Nordecke. This is Columbus Crew’s supporter section. They stand all game and chant. This was probably not a good idea with Maddie. When the fans started their chants, it startled her. It took a good 15 or 20 minutes for her to settle in.
After those first few minutes however, she began to get comfortable. The constant noise and commotion seemed somewhat soothing for Maddie. Once she got used to the noise, she was okay. Columbus did score and they turned off the lights, which caused a mini meltdown, but besides that, she was okay.
Fast forward to the game in Cincinnati, and things were totally different. We sat on the complete opposite end of the stadium from their supporters section. We figured it would be quieter, therefore better for Maddie. We were completely wrong. It was this game that we realized that Maddie is unsettled by abrupt noises. We were away from the commotion of the supporter section. She was confronted with the cheers, groans, and gasps of the game. Several times the crowd stood up in anticipation and Maddie did not enjoy that.
Nicole got up several times during the first half to soothe Maddie. Nicole tried taking her up onto the concourse as well as into the bathroom. This experience was all too much for Maddie. By halftime, our little lady was burnt out. She just wanted a quiet space. She was done with the crowds and just wanted to be alone.
Thankfully our Air BNB was only a couple of blocks away. We approached the gate and I asked the person working if I could walk my wife and Maddie to our lodging, and come right back. I was a bit taken aback by the response. The worker said, “I’m guessing that will cost you twenty.” I was a little shocked. The person said, “It’ll cost you about twenty, or you could pay for another ticket when you get back.”
Nicole assured me she would be fine walking back to the Air BNB alone. I’m sure that if we played the Angelman Syndrome card at the gate, the worker might have had a change of mind. However, that shouldn’t be the case. There are so many people who suffer from anxiety and need a quiet space, even for a few minutes. I suspect that if Maddie had one, she could have reset and we could have enjoyed the rest of the game as a family.
Recently the New York Mets installed sensory nooks at their stadium. These are quiet spaces designed for people who suffer from anxiety to take a step away from the masses. People who have autism, ADHD, Angelman Syndrome, or neurotypical people who are just overwhelmed can use these spaces for a breather. There are so many families that want to have an outing, but might be scared about how it will affect their loved ones, so they just don’t go. More and more stadiums are including these spaces, but not enough.
When we look at the multi-million and billion dollar stadiums, that are often funded by tax payer dollars, these nooks and safe spaces should be an automatic. The specific example that I gave about the New York Mets, their sensory nooks cost very little comparatively. I just hope that while we trek across America, these safe spaces become more readily available.
-Written by Adam Birchmeier
