A Glimpse Into the Future

I’m not an overly religious person. I do find peace and solace when I attend church regularly. Nicole and I have made it a point this Lenten season to renew our faith. We found a Catholic church that’s a bit closer to our house, now it’s easier to get Maddie ready and to church on time. This past Sunday gave me an insight into our possible future, and it’s not that bad.

As I mentioned last week, Maddie loves being in church. She probably doesn’t get much out of the homily, but she gets a ton of interaction with fellow parishioners. Maddie is always in rare form when there’s an audience. She loves to smile and get people’s attention. She’s also more vocal in church as well. She seems to babble and laugh louder than normal.

As we settled into a pew, directly in front of us was a woman with down syndrome in her 40s. This woman was sitting with whom I presumed to be her father. Immediately she turned around and smiled at us. She even tickled Maddie’s belly. It was so nice to be greeted by a smiling face.

This woman tried to communicate with her father to turn around and greet us. I’m not sure if she was non verbal or if she knew to be quieter in church. She used some gestures, that I took to be some home signs. He signaled back and she turned around. I could relate to this father.

Even though Maddie is neurodivergent, I still want her to try to be able to fit in appropriately in social situations. I don’t mind that she looks around and interacts with others, I just really don’t want her yelling out to get their attention. So I find myself trying to quietly shush her. I don’t think this is damaging her self confidence in any way, I’m just gently trying to show her that this is the way we act in church.

At various times during the mass, this woman would turn around and interact with Nicole and I. At one point she pointed to both Nicole and I, and just nodded at us. I know it might sound crazy, but it was almost like she knew that Maddie was a bit different than normal children. It was almost like this woman was recognizing Nicole and I specifically. It was almost like a sign from above that we were doing a good job. After church I even asked Nicole if she thought this woman knew that Maddie was special needs.

At one point in the mass, this woman turned around and just hugged Nicole. She wasn’t acting up, or being a distraction. It was just a nice loving gesture from one stranger to my wife. It was one of those interactions that sticks with you. After leaving church, I felt refreshed and re-energized.

I realized that this could possibly be Maddie’s future. She will get older. She will be right by our side during our day to day life. There’s going to come a time when Maddie is in her 40s and in a church pew. There’s going to be a family who sits behind us. Maybe that child will be neurotypical, maybe that child will be neurodivergent. I just hope Maddie makes them feel the same way, that this woman made us feel. If that’s the case, the future isn’t all that bad.

-Written by Adam Birchmeier